Friday, September 23, 2011

An emotional trip.

Cam and I were invited to go visit an aquarium for free yesterday, so we gladly took the chance to go check out Cam's favorite element: water.  The fish and other sea creatures were just there, taking up precious space in the delightful water. 

The aquarium is in the city we adopted Cam.  It is also in the city where my father lived (marginally) for 7.5 weeks, slowly and horrifically deteriorating before he finally had to be removed from life support. 

So as I crested one of the ramps to the city, and saw the skyline, my stomach lurched and my chest seized up.  First, I realized Cam had not been back to the city since we picked her up at 17 days old.  As I sat, overcome with emotion thinking somewhere close by, her first family is living and breathing, I saw the hospital where my dad died.  It was like a punch to the gut times 100. 

Nothing like trying to navigate city traffic when your eyes are bleary with tears, and the extreme emotions of happiness and sadness are competing for room in your already stressed brain.  I can thank my ADHD for realizing me of the awfulness of the feelings by cussing like the sailor I am at my GPS for, again, screwing me on directions.

It's odd that it took me 19 months to realize that the saddest day of my life and the happiest day of my life happened in the same city, almost two years to the day between Pop being admitted to the hospital and Cam being born.

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