A thread from a forum I visit really bothered me earlier today. I know I can come off pretty judgy at times, so I was careful to chose my words. I read and re-read my post before I hit the button. So when I got home and checked up on the forum, I was a little sad that my post was taken as a flame. I can see now my words didn't help, I should have just "walked away". But I couldn't.
I never thought I would bring a discussion I was part of on a forum, here to my little parcel of cyberspace. But I am genuinely puzzled, and more than a bit dismayed. My intent here is not to bash anyone, I well and truly mean that.
The issue was this: DCFS refused to place with a pre-adoptive family because the family lived two doors down from a convicted sex offender. The offender is a member of this family.
Lots of empathy was given for the lady of the post, because quite simply her dream had been crushed. Not through fault of her own, but because of a family member's predatory nature. I cannot imagine the grief she feels right now. DCFS licensed her, knowing FULL WELL about the offending family member. Strung her along for a long while, making her belive she had a shot at bringing a child into her home. In THAT, DCFS majorly fucked up. Of course, I don't know DCFS' side of things.
What got my goat were all the people coming out in support of this woman to complain (she should for what DCFS did to string her along), to find a new agency, and general "this is bullshit" type support. She then minimized the offending behavior. At this point I will stipulate: I very much believe that there are MAJOR differences in levels of sexual offenses. Statutory rape is one I have take some issue with. But if you fuck with kids, even if it never became physical, I have a major problem with that. Dude got his hand caught in the cookie jar.
So herein lies my confusion. Do people really think it's okay to let the most TRAUMATIZED children of our society live two doors down from a convicted sex offender? Really??
People were trotting out the fact that we ALL live very close to sex offenders. True, I know and completely agree with that. That under that reference no one should be allowed to foster. Ummmm....okay, disconnect for me. Most people don't live two doors down from a family member who is also a sex offender. And that they still keep in contact with.
Am I wrong? Would any of you, as a DCFS worker take that risk? I am NOT out to flame anyone, so if you have a view that is different from mine, please tell me why. The one good quality I like to think I possess is an open-mind and a willingness to learn something new.