Tuesday, June 28, 2011

I think the best days are ahead of me.

Today is my last day in my 30's.  They have been fun, harrowing, joyful, sad, scary, somewhat peaceful, and confusing.  Things I thought were absolute have been blown to smithereens.  People I didn't think I could count on are proving otherwise.  I feel like I am on the cusp of....something, I am just hopeful it's a good something.

Last year Rob surprised me with a flying lesson.  It was fantastic.  A life's dream for me to get up in the clouds and fly, but never got the gumption to go do it myself.  Then, for shits and giggles, and because I am incredibly impulsive I got tattooed.  Again.  I chose my sobriety date, and had it inked onto my right shoulder blade.  After a brief nap we went into the big city and had a fantastic meal that will require Cam to work a little harder for financial aid.

This year I was hopeful Rob would come through.  It's been a year of sparse acknowledgements on holidays for us this year.  Being that my mom has been on my schedule and mind 24/7, I have let my birthday creep up on me without giving it much thought.  What my thought was, was a chill day of nothingness.  Perhaps a most delicious cake.  Maybe dinner out, if I can get my sister to watch Cam. 

Last night Rob told me he made reservations for sky diving.  I am still not sure what my feelings are about it.  A few years ago we had reservations to go, but it was too windy.  Instead we spent the day wandering around a cute, cozy little port town and then did dinner back in town.  I was kind of bummed that day, but I got over it pretty quickly.

Now I am to put it mildly, scared shitless.  Rob told me about it as I crawled into bed last night.  He had mentioned it a few days earlier saying we could go this weekend, and I demurred.  I told him that driving to the shore (the beaches are two hours away) was not a hot idea on Fourth of July weekend, plus, Mom will be home.  I thought he got the hint.  But oh, I forgot.  Men don't take hints.  Sigh. 

So when he kept looking at me expectantly I deflected saying "it will mess with Cam's schedule".  Him:  "Yep."  He was still smiling like a crazed person.  I tried two more tactics:  mom and the long drive with a kid who hates the car.  Not budging, still msiling.  Then he tells me he already put down a deposit.

So, my happy-ass will be shoved out of a perfectly good airplane tomorrow.  I hope I live to tell the tale.


  1. oh how fun....well something I would have liked to do...now I'm more of...ah when the little one is over 18 and can fend for herself in case of um a mishap...lol
    Happy Birthday! I had a rough 20s and when I hit 30 three years back I started the best years of my life....here's hoping the same thing happens to you in the new decade!

  2. Twenties were full of partying and zero responsibility, not bad. Thirties were more bad than good...although the last year has been mostly good. Well, crappy circumstances, but lots of learning and understanding. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis, but it started about six months ago. Reevaluating my priorities, making sure my actions fit my words (or trying at least!), and coming to terms with what I thought I deserved and what the reality really is. Deep shit. lol