Wednesday, March 9, 2011

When being a SAHM gets under my skin.

If it weren't for a lay off, being barren, changing careers, then adopting a fabulous baby girl, I would be sitting at work at 10:00 am.  Instead I am dragging Cam over hill and dale, trying to entertain (and educate) her so we both don't end up crying and pissed by 1100.  I am notoriously bad with unscheduled time.  The ADHD doesn't help, because decision making is just a right pain in the ass for those of us who can't FOCUS for 1 second.  So, for those of you who trudge off to work each morning, you can rest easy knowing I am home trying to make the biggest decision of my day: going to the mall, Target, grocery store, or library.  Or any combination thereof.  We go to the same places over and over, because familiarity is my friend.  Yesterday I stepped out of my comfort zone, and paid dearly.  Old Navy, it should have been so easy!  I will regroup, and Cam will learn to love your shopping center too.

Today being Wednesday, I was excited that we actually had a PLAN.  Wednesday is Babies in Bloom at our local library.  Babies 0-2 are the target audience, and it is 30 minutes of socialization, for Cam, because I evidently haven't figured out how to properly socialize since sobering up.  Um, it's been four years...some could call me a slow learner.  I might also put off a vibe that says I don't suffer fools gladly.  Today, I was surrounded by fools.

The program is for BABIES.  That's why those clever librarians call it BABIES in Bloom.  Not Running, Screaming, Practically Frothing at the Mouth 3- 4 year olds.  Nothing against the advanced toddler set, but their activity level is about 100% above the target audience.  Watching Cam get shoved down repeatedly by older kids is not my idea of a fun or relaxing time.  Watching their oblivious mothers chit chat about the latest US Magazine article had me twitching, trying to hold my slap reflex in check. Kid after kid came up to Cam and wanted to take the book/tambourine/ball out of her hands, each time I had to barter with a kid who thought I was trying to give him a shitty deal (sorry, Cam's jingle bells are worth more than that crappy plastic rattle, GOOD DEAL FOR YOU KID), while looking for a mother who might be interested in what her kid was doing.  Nope, too engaged with her friends to notice. 

Now, Cam is a notorious toy stealer.  I WATCH her for this reason.  She will also show her appreciation for a good set of pigtails by yanking them, or showing she's interested in a cute face by slapping it.  I WATCH her because of this.  So, it galls me when I am surrounded by women who ignore their little savages.  Little savages who are TOO OLD for this 30 minute program. 

I am pretty sure if I worked outside of the home, I wouldn't be seriously contemplating home-schooling my child, right now.

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