Thursday, September 23, 2010

It's been a day

My cat needs to see a cardiologist.  Said cat also has a huge bite wound on his chest, probably from his sister, which cost me a crap load of money to get shaved and cleaned, which I pretty much did myself.  Cam has been whiny all day, maybe more teeth coming in, not sure why.  I learned a lesson in pre-school tuition: it sucks.  I open a letter from one of my doctors, it says they are sending me to collections if I don't send them the balance of my account in 14 days.  The balance?  $5.43.  I forgot my psychiatrist appointment today.  Finally, I think Rob may be coming down with something, because he refused ice cream (!!) and went to bed right after dinner.

In "olden" days even one of those events alone would have had me draining several bottles of wine.  Alas, not an option any more.  Instead, I drown my weary sorrows in a pint of ice cream.  And maybe some cheesy poofs.  Then spend the rest of the evening surfing the internet instead of doing homework or doing the reading I keep telling myself I am going to do.  I haven't been to an A.A. meeting in four long days. Was planning on going to my noon meeting tomorrow, but guess what?  I forgot I had an Open House at the grad school I want to apply to.  Ugh. 

Missing appointments and forgetting them are something I just don't do.  I am an organizer, and as such I carry a calendar with me at all times, and also keep one up in the kitchen in case I forget to check mine.  I don't need my therapist to tell me I am stressed (but she did), and the fact that I forgot the psychiatrist is really pissing me off.  Diagnoses:  Depression and ADHD.  I think I need a medication change, and it took forever to get this appointment.  Plus, the doc told me that because the practice he is with has been so busy, they are raising rates on October 1st.  Therefore I was squeezed in.  What kind of shrink tells you that practice is booming, so they are raising rates?  Thanks crazies!  I already have a resentment against this man, so it may give me that little push to find a new doc.  I tried taking three different ADHD meds this summer, and none worked.  Thought I was really losing my mind with the added effect of a cocaine-like rush. Rob was the unfortunate one, as one of the drugs had the pleasant side-effect of irritability (already have enough, thanks) and unmitigated hostility.  During the entire summer, not once did this doctor follow-up to see how I was doing, in fact, he told me to email him any concerns I had, then left me a lengthy voice mail telling me that I really needed to make an appointment if I wanted to talk about medication.  Um, at $250/hour, and you don't take insurance?  Fuck you, dude.

So, I have been saying the Serenity Prayer like crazy and will commence with ice cream eating henceforth.  Nighty night!

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